Enrolled....

Well, I officially enrolled for the spring semester. I'll be taking four classes. One is just a career planning course which hopefully won't require too much, but the others are pretty heavy. I would normally only take three classes, but the career planning one is required for my first semester of grad school.

I'm a little nervous thinking about going back to school full-time, and working, and taking care of Caleb. I know somehow my schedule will come together and it'll work out, but geeze.... I really wish there were three of me.

What a weekend!

Ok, I am freakin exhausted! I ended up babysitting my niece and nephew Friday night, Saturday night, and taking them to church with us Sunday morning and watching them Sunday afternoon. I absolutely LOVE being with them, but the two of them plus Caleb can be nuts! Caleb and Avery tend to butt heads so I played referee quite a bit. Most of the time was really fun, and I finally got to have some semi-alone time with Landon, which is rare. We watched a bunch of Goosebumps movies, and I can honestly say I liked them.

Grandpa took Caleb out Saturday morning over to little airport near us. He was just planning on driving him by some airplanes, but he ended up meeting a really nice guy that let Caleb sit in his plane and play with all the gadgets. He came home so excited! I love nice people. :-)

I'm looking forward to a short week at work and having Thanksgiving with the fam. Thanks for all the continued emails, texts, prayers, and calls.

Cute stuff Caleb said recently...

#1- God made my mommy for me!

#2- Caleb- Mommy, I don't like girls. Girls are yucky! I can't like Avery because she's a girl.
Me- But I'm a girl. You mean you don't like mommy because I'm a girl?
Caleb- Oh, ok momma. I guess I have to like Avery then.

Caleb's First School Program

Today Caleb had his first little school program for Thanksgiving. He was right in the middle and did great! It was so cute my cheeks hurt from smiling so big. I didn't tell him I was coming to see him later when I dropped him off this morning, so the expression on his face when he saw me videoing him was priceless.

Girls Reunion Weekend

I flew out to DC this past weekend to visit my best friend, Jessica, and my old friends from high school Missy and Tiffany drove out too. We hadn't all been together in 10 years! Crazy how much time has gone by, but it didn't feel like it all.

It was such fun going through old pictures, some of which were humiliating, and catching up on everything. I feel so unbelievably lucky to have such amazing friends! This needs to be a yearly event, at least.

Tiffany, Missy, Me, Jessica, and Bella (the cutest pooch ever!)

I fell totally in love with this dog!

After a fun dinner out, we spent the night drinking some wine and playing cards.

Great dinner out!

Having a moment of clarity....

Since day one, when my little world started to unravel, I've prayed and clung to God. Tonight I realized just how much. I don't know exactly how to explain it, except to say that it just hit my heart how so much good is coming from so much bad.

I've developed a real hunger for God's word. I've always wanted to be a good Christian woman, and reflect that in my life, but something has happened inside of me. I actually crave reading my bible. If I don't open it up one day, I really feel like something is missing.

My eyes and my heart are being illuminated by so many parts of the bible that I've read a million times, but never really saw. I can't begin to tell you how many times I say to myself (or looking up at God), "Wow!" There is so much peace that comes over me when I read even just one verse.

I wanted to share just a few of the blessings that I'm starting to see in all this mess:

-Caleb is developing such a closeness with his grandparents, his cousins, and his aunt and uncle. Mommy is not his only safety blanket anymore.
-My church family is just that, a family. I have absolutely been taken in by some of the most godly people I've ever met. I'll receive text messages and phone calls from people there saying they're holding me up in prayer and asking if there is anything they can do to help. And you know what? They really mean it!
-I'm realizing just how not alone I am. I'm not afraid to share with people what's happened with me, and after I do, so many times I hear similar stories that have happened to them or their family members. So many people have opened their hearts to me, and I really can empathize and I know how to better pray for them. It's not just, "Lord help him or her." It's specific and truly heart-felt.

There are many days, most actually, that I'm still in disbelief. How the man I loved faithfully for so long, could do what's he's done, or choose what he's chosen, is something I just can't wrap my mind around. There is a certain song out, which has been one of Caleb's favorite songs, that just keeps running through my mind.- "I am not skilled to understand, what God has willed, what God had planned. I only know at His right hand, stands one who is my savior."

It's really hard, and I'm so tired out, but my faith is being strengthened. My hope is being renewed. There is so much to be thankful for.

Laughed so hard I cried....

Caleb and I were laying in bed the other night watching "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown." There is a part in the movie when Sally, the little girl who has a crush on Linus, was whining and kind of yelling at Linus. For those of you who can't remember or don't know, she had decided to stay with him in the pumpkin patch and wait for the Great Pumpkin instead of go trick-or-treating with the other kids.

I looked over at Caleb and was watching his face change while he watched that part. He furrowed his brow and started looking seriously ticked off. Then he looks over at me and says like such a little man, "I'd hit that girl in the face!"

Words can't describe it as well as I'd like, but I laughed so hard I was almost crying. I was definitely not expecting him to say that.